I'm back again for another round of Tuesdays on the Run with the lovely gals that host this wonderful thing: MCM Mama Runs, Run the Great Wide Somewhere, and My No-Guilt Life!
And guess what - today is a FREE TOPIC. Oh snap...just seeing the topic and my brain goes wild with possibilities! So I'm going to go introspective for a moment here.
As a Mom, and maybe just genetics and upbringing have something to do with it too, I have been conditioned to not really think that much about what I want. I know what my basic needs are, and I even know a lot of things that I enjoy. But something I've always had a difficult time with is making actual decisions or knowing what I want when other people ask me for my opinion. In life, to eat for dinner, to do for a date...you name it, I'm pretty much undecided about it when others are involved. If it is just me I can usually just go straight to what I want because I'm not worried about letting someone else down. It used to drive my Dad batty when I would visit for the summer. A typical conversation might go like this: Dad says "what do you want for dinner?". I respond "I don't know". Dad says "how do you not know? You must have some kind of idea". Me: "I don't know". Dad: Pick something, anything...whatever you want. Me: I don't know. Dad: Make a DECISION. Me: Okay, I want burritos. Dad: Thank you!!!! Burritos it is.
So sometimes when I actually do allow myself to dive in deep to my thoughts and think about what I want, one of the things that rises to the top is I want to be a better runner. I know that it is something that I want. I want to train. I want to put in the hard work. I want to get faster. I want awesome running form. I want to just be better at it. I don't care if I win races or beat other people. I just want to know, deep down inside, that I'm a pretty decent runner because I put in the work to be one.
That's something I want - but there's a definite disconnect between the want and the actual work to get there. And that is always what it comes back to for me. How do I get past the hurdle of cutting myself too much slack so I can achieve my little dream of being a better runner? How do I beat the stupid lazy brain syndrome that tells me to just stop, just go slower, just take it easy today, just get some more sleep, just do it tomorrow.
I haven't figured it out yet...but I'm trying! If you have any suggestions, please share! I can use all the help I can get...trust me!