Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Gaining Strength

So my word for 2012 is choosing that word I was focused on inviting into my life a strong marriage, strong friendships, strong faith, strong work ethic and some actual physical strength mixed in with some other less tangible ways of building strength. But I don't know why I didn't really THINK about it and what that means. I already know that choosing a word for the year can be a powerful thing...I learned that with Peace back in 2010! But I started thinking this morning about some of life's recent challenges and I realized that I INVITED THEM!

When you build physical strength by lifting weights or using your own body weight, physiologically you are creating tiny tears in your muscles that rebuild into a stronger muscle during the recovery period. I think we all remember this from Science class and from TV shows like Dr. Oz, etc. This isn't new information, right?

So if I want to be stronger in all those ways I mentioned above...did I actually think that was just going to magically happen? That I was going to just wake up one day during 2012 and my marriage would be awesome, my faith would be off the hook, my friendships would be rockin' my world and so on and so forth? Yeah, I kinda think I did think that. Or maybe more appropriately would be to say that the absence of thinking about it period meant I thought this was going to be a magical transition from weak into STRONG.

Bwahahahahahaha - like seriously, Kristen?!?!? Let's be real for a moment...

In order for those things to become stronger, it takes breaking them down and rebuilding them!!!! Maybe not individually each and every single one of those things that I asked to be stronger, but as a whole I have to be broken down and rebuilt. And breaking down and rebuilding...well, it's hard. It takes us to places we don't really want to go. It makes you sweat and cry and bleed (figuratively hopefully!) and when all is said and done you feel like jello has replaced your insides. It's no different than when you have a total kick-butt workout and at the end you just want to lay like a puddle on the floor because there's nothing left inside to give.

Now just picture that as mentally instead of physically exhausted...torn down...jello inside...used up...nothing left to give. Yeah - not a pretty picture!!

But you know what? In the end, when the soreness goes away and you look at yourself in the mirror and you see STRONG you realize it was all worth it! All the challenges and obstacles. All the battles. All the "opportunities for growth". Everything. It was all worth it!!! Because what has replaced the weakness is a total and complete BADASS!! And she is fierce! And that strength, it isn't just relegated to one place in life, it spreads and blossoms into ALL facets.

I may not be to that place yet, but I'm getting there. It might hurt and it just might hurt so bad it feels good.

If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well. If it is worth having, it is worth waiting for. If it is worth attaining, it is worth fighting for. If it is worth experiencing, it is worth putting aside time for.
- unknown

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
- Victoria Holt

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.
Aldous Huxley