Monday, March 10, 2014

Best Friend Manifesto

As Best Friends, Besties, BFF's, etc., we agree to:

1. Never wear fugly shoes, especially not to work, and definitely not for the sole reason that they "are comfortable".

2. Never, I repeat, NEVER have nasty old lady cleavage. As best friends, it is critical that we help each other to age gracefully and to know when it is time to let vanity go. Don't mistake this for being ugly or not caring about our appearance (see Item 1 above)...but I refuse for us to be 60 and still dressing like we're 20. Mmmkay? Sometimes them bad boys just need to be covered up!

Exhibit A
Random photo taken from the web that came up on Google Search using the term "old lady cleavage". And you know what? There were LOTS to choose from!! *shudders* (Bestie - let's discuss this later because I know we are going to get a good laugh out of it!)

3. We will always tell each other when we're being a beotch for no other reason than for being a beotch. We recognize that we'll have bad days when we don't like many people, but when we start treating others disrespectfully we have permission to bitch slap and tell the offending BFF to get over themselves.

4. We agree to tell each other when there's food in the teeth or bears in the cave (aka boogers in the nose). We also agree to make note if clothes are flashing the belly fat, if there are super visible panty lines, if a skirt is too short, if we're dressed inappropriately, if our hair looks like crap. Okay, let's just agree that we'll make sure we are always presentable. (See also Items 1 & 2 above and #5 below.)

5. We also agree to tell each other if there are any wayward hairs - things like black crazy hairs coming out of the chin, a gray hair sticking straight up, etc.

6. It's okay if we don't like the same people, and it's okay if we don't dislike the same people, but we agree that we will never stop each other from having those likes/dislikes that are different. Because when we don't like the same person, we both agree to laugh at all the stupid impressions and jokes and to send each other secret Pins.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

7. Speaking of, we agree that some jokes are not appropriate for others, so those will be sent as secret pins.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

8. We agree that no jokes, rants or raves are inappropriate in private; as long as they stay "in private".

9. We agree to tell each other when it is time to break out the pumice stone or go to the salon for a pedicure because no best friend will let their friend run around in sandles with nasty cracked feet.

Exhibit A

NASTY - and those weren't even the worst!!! Again, a Google search image...if you're brave just type in cracked feet and you'll find more than enough nasty feet pictures. *Shudder*

10. We agree to always listen, give a hug, a shoulder to cry on, or even just a text or email when either of us is having a rough time. We agree that our friendship is a precious treasure and we will treat it as such. I know a lot of the items above are silly and vain, but as best friends we will always hold each other in our hearts, whether we are close or far; whether we spend 5 minutes or 5 hours; whether we are happy or sad; whether we have time or not. And don't forget - we'll be platonic life partners when we're old and gray if our husbands kick the bucket before us! ;-)

To my Bestie - I love ya to the moon and back, girlie!! 
I'm so glad that God let us find each other!!!


  1. Yes - I agree! Everyone should have at least one bestie that they can depend on! :-)