I haven't had the easiest life, and I haven't had the most difficult life (by FAR!) either. But I've weathered my fair share of storms and even though I can often find the peaceful seas, sometimes the wind rages and the waves rock my little boat something crazy. But I can usually be a pretty happy person. And sometimes, let me just be honest for a moment, I feel like such a FREAK for always being so stinking cheerful - even when sometimes I am broken inside and it is merely a crumbling facade. Seriously, people are always like "you're so happy". You're "always smiling". You're "always positive". I hear it all the time. And I'm so glad that I have that impression on people...really I am. But sometimes it's HARD to carry that burden. The burden of "The Happy One" or "The Positive One" or "The Strong One". Sometimes all you want is to be weak and to crumble, but as woman we pick ourselves up again and again and put on our happy face to the world.
My bestie, Rebecca, she sees the ugly. My husband - sometimes he sees the ugly too. But most of the time the only thing that really sees the ugly is my closet. That's where I usually go when I need to seriously have a breakdown. But let me get back on track here. I am admitting that there are times when I'm not happy or positive. But those times are pretty darn rare. I am definitely an optimist. And sometimes I feel like there aren't many other people in my life that are the same as me. Rebecca is, most definitely. Kelle is, most definitely. But let me tell ya - last night I realized that there are a LOT of other people that speak the same language!
I had shared with Rebecca on our way down to San Diego that I tell people about Kelle's blog all the time...and yes, I feel like a creepy stalker when I do...but I've come to accept it. ;-) But I never really feel like anyone that I tell about her blog says "Man, I SO GET IT". I get what this Kelle chick is talking about. I really FEEL it. In other words, I kind of feel like most people view me as that creepy blog stalker that I am! But we get to the Barnes & Noble and wander in after taking pictures in front of the store by the sign announcing the event (cheeseball!!!!) and kind of start wandering to figure out where the event is. And then all of a sudden we see a LOT of people gathered in an area and I was like "whoa - that's got to be it". It didn't seem real to see a group of 100+ women, men, children and babies all there for the same thing. But it was. So then we are chit-chatting wondering if we traveled further than most to get there when a gal turns around and says that her and her sister traveled about 4 HOURS to attend. I found out after the fact this morning that another group of ladies traveled 8 HOURS to be there. All in all, I would say the group grew to about 200 people at least. We packed that B&N something fierce!
And the funniest thing was that as we were standing there we were picking up conversations from other ladies and they were talking about the same stuff we always talk about! Lots of talk about unicorns and glitter and happiness and the importance of a support network. We were all different people from different backgrounds but yet we were all speaking the same language. And it was wonderful!!! To think that no matter where we are at and what we have gone through in our own lives that there are real and authentic people that have struggled or found joy and are willing to share it so that we all know that we aren't alone in how we struggle and that we aren't alone when we find joy. The overwhelming feeling I left with was that I could have been friends with any of those people in that room.
Finding this kind of supportive and like-minded community is really not a first for me as I am part of an online community through SparkPeople and I have made friends with many of the people on there...I definitely would like to think that many of them will be lifelong friends...We just speak the language of health and triumph over our fat cells there. A different type of language, but one that is important nonetheless. I guess the important thing - AKA "the moral of the story" is that in a world where we are all so different and are spread across the globe, that we can find others that speak our language - that we can be drawn to them like moths to a flame because we finally realize that we aren't alone no matter what we are going through...well, it's a powerful thing. And I definitely had a taste of that power last night and it was pretty darn awesome.
Go forth and Bloom...