Okay, I am doing this from my phone today so hopefully it is readable. I'm sitting on the shore of the Pacific Ocean in Carlsbad CA and let me tell ya - it is QUALITY. I am in my favorite little green beach chair with Pandora set to classical in one ear and the sound of crashing waves, giggling kids and seagulls in the other. As I sit here staring at the never-ending horizon you can't help but feel so small...all the worries of life shrink away and the majesty of this world we have been given comes into focus as if looking through a fish eye lens. As I watch brightly colored umbrellas pop up around me and watch chubby toddlers waddle through the sand I am simply in awe of how easy it is to forget that there is more to life than the daily grind. Life is just simply amazing and we have so many things to be grateful for if we just take the time to appreciate it. We have brightly colored dragonflies and itty bitty sand crabs. We have blue skies that stretch into eternity and water that does the same right along with it. We have instruments and the composers and players to turn them from a tool into something amazing. Violin strings and soft clarinets combine to make something so much more than music...it is like the feeling of a breeze on a hot summer day.
In other words, today I am not just in the pursuit of a quality life; I am IN a quality life and I plan to keep it with me for as long as possible. But the thing I must remember even when I am no longer sitting on the beach pondering the majesty is that there is quality all around us in our every day.
So what are you finding today that speaks quality? Share away in the comments! :-)
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saying Goodbye...
My father-in-law passed away yesterday afternoon after a brief battle with cancer (after winning the initial fight many years ago with prostate cancer). I take heart in knowing that he was comfortable and not feeling pain in the end and that he didn't have to go down the long, hard road that was in front of him if he had recovered from the initial surgery to remove his bladder.
It's odd to have to say good-bye to people that you feel like will be around forever. Just days ago we were debating on whether to send the hubby up now or to wait for him to be better. That's how sudden it turned. Yesterday was a tough day, but I have definitely spent some time remembering the good times spent with Bob (Robert Lynn Grimes - 67 years old at time of death). He was far from being a perfect person (I mean, who is?!?) but he was a GOOD person underneath it all. He was a firm believer in God and a true scholar of the Bible. That was his preferred way of spending free time...in study of the Word. And he truly knew SO much about it. I also can't help but think about the impact he had on others outside of the immediate family. He and my mother-in-law spent many years running a family home-based day care center and together they "raised" a lot of kids. Many of them that they thought of as practically their own and continued to keep in touch with long after through their own marriages and having kids and families.
My hubby is doing okay. He landed in Alaska at midnight their time along with our oldest son, Robert - named so after his grandpa. They are enjoying the time with the family there and I'm sure will spend many hours laughing and crying as they drift through memories of him.
I take heart that he finally got to live his dream in Alaska. He moved there under not the greatest of circumstances but bonded with nature and then his wife followed sometime after and together they bought a piece of land and built a small cabin where they could retire together and spend free time fishing, hunting, reading and just loving each other.
He will be missed by all of us and we will not forget the impact he made on each of us. And I hate that losing someone is the time that we are reminded how important those relationships are. Cherish those around you and tell them - but even more so - SHOW them everyday! We don't know how much time we are given, so live everyday, love everyday, laugh everyday.
It's odd to have to say good-bye to people that you feel like will be around forever. Just days ago we were debating on whether to send the hubby up now or to wait for him to be better. That's how sudden it turned. Yesterday was a tough day, but I have definitely spent some time remembering the good times spent with Bob (Robert Lynn Grimes - 67 years old at time of death). He was far from being a perfect person (I mean, who is?!?) but he was a GOOD person underneath it all. He was a firm believer in God and a true scholar of the Bible. That was his preferred way of spending free time...in study of the Word. And he truly knew SO much about it. I also can't help but think about the impact he had on others outside of the immediate family. He and my mother-in-law spent many years running a family home-based day care center and together they "raised" a lot of kids. Many of them that they thought of as practically their own and continued to keep in touch with long after through their own marriages and having kids and families.
My hubby is doing okay. He landed in Alaska at midnight their time along with our oldest son, Robert - named so after his grandpa. They are enjoying the time with the family there and I'm sure will spend many hours laughing and crying as they drift through memories of him.
I take heart that he finally got to live his dream in Alaska. He moved there under not the greatest of circumstances but bonded with nature and then his wife followed sometime after and together they bought a piece of land and built a small cabin where they could retire together and spend free time fishing, hunting, reading and just loving each other.
He will be missed by all of us and we will not forget the impact he made on each of us. And I hate that losing someone is the time that we are reminded how important those relationships are. Cherish those around you and tell them - but even more so - SHOW them everyday! We don't know how much time we are given, so live everyday, love everyday, laugh everyday.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Life Interrupted...
My hubby leaves for Alaska tonight and at this point we are just hoping he makes it in time...as in makes it before his Dad loses his fight. Things are not improving and the doctor's put him on dialysis yesterday, but that has now caused his liver to fail. He is septic and has pneumonia. They are taking him off of the dialysis because of the liver failure and they say 24 hours.
I don't really know what else to say about it. There's just too many emotions right now. If you are the praying type, please say a few words for my husband and his family. Thank you.
I don't really know what else to say about it. There's just too many emotions right now. If you are the praying type, please say a few words for my husband and his family. Thank you.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The Weight of the World
I'm feeling the weight of the world on my back and it's a struggle right now. Yes, I'm striving for quality. Yes, I'm looking for positive. Yes, I'm blogging to work through it all! :-)
1. My father-in-law is really sick. He had prostate cancer many years ago that was removed, but apparently it didn't go all the way away and it came back in his bladder. He had his bladder removed mid-week last week and was doing okay, but this weekend he ran into some complications and had to go in for emergency surgery. They are in Alaska which is a considerable distance from us in California. We are worried about him, and worried about my mother-in-law. They are each other's everything and this has been a tough road; my sister-in-law lives up there with them, but she is completely useless so my MIL really doesn't have anybody close by to support her emotionally. His kidneys are now failing and it's looking more and more like the fight might be gone. We are holding on but may need to fly my hubby up in a hurry depending on what the tests they run today come back with.
2. My hot water heater took a dump this weekend. We *think* it is the temperature control box that is the problem, but until we get the correct part we won't know and we are without hot water. The bright side is thank goodness it is summer and the heat wave is in full force so we are happy to take cold showers right now. If it was dead of winter we would be a group of unhappy people.
3. Dealing with multiple personalities at the home is proving to be quite the challenge. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have the kids around the house, but we are definitely blending a lot of different people and then when you throw in my daughter-in-law from Hawaii and her different cultural background and upbringing, it, like I said, is challenging. We are practicing a whole heck of a lot of patience these days. But when you go to work to get a break, there's something wrong with the picture! LOL I'll be happy when the birds start leaving the nest...again. Maybe this time the migration will stick. :-)
4. Work is really picking up steam right now. There's a large project looming and it is just reaching an overwhelming point. I am flying solo in the office this week so my mission is to crank up the mellow tunes and get some serious work done towards the project.
5. Speaking of work, I have one of my friends/co-workers coming back to the same campus as I am and as much as I love her, she's a difficult person to be around on a constant basis. She tends to be negative and likes to complain A LOT. When she is further away at the other campus, it is a lot easier to contend with. I will give her this - she's been through a lot of challenges and is leaving a position that she was very unhappy in...but there comes a time where a person needs to make the solid decision to find the bright side of things and she just isn't there yet. So when she comes back to campus and I am spending more time with her, I'm really going to have to establish some firm ground rules in order to keep from getting sucked into the negativity. But that takes a lot of energy and my worry is that it will be energy I just don't have. Sigh.
So yeah - it's kind of feeling like the world is conspiring against me at the moment, but I think I have a good plan figured out to work through it. I just need to keep making sure I'm taking care of me; eating good food, exercising, getting sleep, finding time to take care of me in the midst of it all. I'll get there! I will, I will...(see the positive reinforcement at work...if I keep telling myself it will, then eventually it will come true!)
Hope that life is offering a little more of the quality for everyone else out there in the world!
Today's Picture:
Source: This is another original by Melissa and is the pier in Oceanside, CA taken at night. I should note that my daughter is 17 and has been practicing her craft for the past year. She definitely has natural talent and I can't help bragging about her! I'm sure you can see why... :-)
1. My father-in-law is really sick. He had prostate cancer many years ago that was removed, but apparently it didn't go all the way away and it came back in his bladder. He had his bladder removed mid-week last week and was doing okay, but this weekend he ran into some complications and had to go in for emergency surgery. They are in Alaska which is a considerable distance from us in California. We are worried about him, and worried about my mother-in-law. They are each other's everything and this has been a tough road; my sister-in-law lives up there with them, but she is completely useless so my MIL really doesn't have anybody close by to support her emotionally. His kidneys are now failing and it's looking more and more like the fight might be gone. We are holding on but may need to fly my hubby up in a hurry depending on what the tests they run today come back with.
2. My hot water heater took a dump this weekend. We *think* it is the temperature control box that is the problem, but until we get the correct part we won't know and we are without hot water. The bright side is thank goodness it is summer and the heat wave is in full force so we are happy to take cold showers right now. If it was dead of winter we would be a group of unhappy people.
3. Dealing with multiple personalities at the home is proving to be quite the challenge. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have the kids around the house, but we are definitely blending a lot of different people and then when you throw in my daughter-in-law from Hawaii and her different cultural background and upbringing, it, like I said, is challenging. We are practicing a whole heck of a lot of patience these days. But when you go to work to get a break, there's something wrong with the picture! LOL I'll be happy when the birds start leaving the nest...again. Maybe this time the migration will stick. :-)
4. Work is really picking up steam right now. There's a large project looming and it is just reaching an overwhelming point. I am flying solo in the office this week so my mission is to crank up the mellow tunes and get some serious work done towards the project.
5. Speaking of work, I have one of my friends/co-workers coming back to the same campus as I am and as much as I love her, she's a difficult person to be around on a constant basis. She tends to be negative and likes to complain A LOT. When she is further away at the other campus, it is a lot easier to contend with. I will give her this - she's been through a lot of challenges and is leaving a position that she was very unhappy in...but there comes a time where a person needs to make the solid decision to find the bright side of things and she just isn't there yet. So when she comes back to campus and I am spending more time with her, I'm really going to have to establish some firm ground rules in order to keep from getting sucked into the negativity. But that takes a lot of energy and my worry is that it will be energy I just don't have. Sigh.
So yeah - it's kind of feeling like the world is conspiring against me at the moment, but I think I have a good plan figured out to work through it. I just need to keep making sure I'm taking care of me; eating good food, exercising, getting sleep, finding time to take care of me in the midst of it all. I'll get there! I will, I will...(see the positive reinforcement at work...if I keep telling myself it will, then eventually it will come true!)
Hope that life is offering a little more of the quality for everyone else out there in the world!
Today's Picture:
Source: This is another original by Melissa and is the pier in Oceanside, CA taken at night. I should note that my daughter is 17 and has been practicing her craft for the past year. She definitely has natural talent and I can't help bragging about her! I'm sure you can see why... :-)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Now Is The Time...
Reposted from an alternate blog...but the more I thought about it, the more I realized this truly just pertains to life in general, so why not share in another avenue. :-)
I have this little book that my bestie got for us (she got one for herself and one for me at the same time) and it's really cool. It's called Now is the Time...and it has a little thing to focus/grab on to/whatever on each page. Kind of like a little motivation in a book and it is super varied like Now is the time...to let go of anger and then it has a little blurb about it followed up by an appropriate quote. Okay, so anyways earlier this week this is what it said:
Now is the time...
...to commit yourself
Those who succeed set themselves apart by their commitment.
Most of us make an effort:
we prepare; we try; but then we hope.
If you really want to achieve something,
you must be prepared to stretch yourself.
You must distill your energy and focus all your efforts.
You must give of yourself.
"If you're not actively involved in getting what you want, you don't really want it." (Peter McWilliams)
Then on the facing page:
Now is the time...
...to take control of your life
We all have restrictions in our lives.
But, equally, we all have vast areas of untested capacity:
to make decisions; to plan our future; to follow our paths.
It's easy to blame others for our inaction.
It's easy to blame our constraints.
Take the initiative.
Take control.
Decide your own journey.
"Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others." (Buddha)
So I challenge you (and ME!) as we look to begin a new month tomorrow - commit yourself! take control of your life! NOW IS THE TIME!!!!! Stop waiting for tomorrow or next month or next year. Stop waiting for the timing to be perfect (it never will be, by the way). Stop waiting for life to live itself - Now is the Time for YOU to decide your journey. It is in your power and your control. Grab it like you want it - Grab it like you need it - Grab LIFE! Either suck it, or leave it on the floor because today is yours and NOW IS THE TIME...
Image Source: This is a self-portrait of my daughter, Melissa Grimes. She is a budding self-taught photographer with a whole heck of a lot of talent. When I visualize the words in the blog, this is the picture I see!
I have this little book that my bestie got for us (she got one for herself and one for me at the same time) and it's really cool. It's called Now is the Time...and it has a little thing to focus/grab on to/whatever on each page. Kind of like a little motivation in a book and it is super varied like Now is the time...to let go of anger and then it has a little blurb about it followed up by an appropriate quote. Okay, so anyways earlier this week this is what it said:
Now is the time...
...to commit yourself
Those who succeed set themselves apart by their commitment.
Most of us make an effort:
we prepare; we try; but then we hope.
If you really want to achieve something,
you must be prepared to stretch yourself.
You must distill your energy and focus all your efforts.
You must give of yourself.
"If you're not actively involved in getting what you want, you don't really want it." (Peter McWilliams)
Then on the facing page:
Now is the time...
...to take control of your life
We all have restrictions in our lives.
But, equally, we all have vast areas of untested capacity:
to make decisions; to plan our future; to follow our paths.
It's easy to blame others for our inaction.
It's easy to blame our constraints.
Take the initiative.
Take control.
Decide your own journey.
"Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others." (Buddha)
So I challenge you (and ME!) as we look to begin a new month tomorrow - commit yourself! take control of your life! NOW IS THE TIME!!!!! Stop waiting for tomorrow or next month or next year. Stop waiting for the timing to be perfect (it never will be, by the way). Stop waiting for life to live itself - Now is the Time for YOU to decide your journey. It is in your power and your control. Grab it like you want it - Grab it like you need it - Grab LIFE! Either suck it, or leave it on the floor because today is yours and NOW IS THE TIME...
Something I Love...
This song makes me think of cool ocean breezes while drinking the perfect cup of coffee and listening to the faraway squeal of children's giggles and the call of gulls and pelicans. I absolutely LOVE it...I actually love the entire album by James Vincent McMorrow - Early in the Morning. It is 100% original and unexpected. You don't hear music like this on mainstream radio. I highly recommend it! Hope you enjoy it!
Friday, May 20, 2011
How Do You Know...
How do you know the difference between "taking a rest" and "being scared"???? That's what I'm asking myself this morning as I ponder the fact that I haven't run once this entire week! Let me go back just a bit to last Saturday. I had a planned 6 mile run on the schedule and I was flying solo that day since my running buddies were either rehabbing an injury or participating in a mud run. The weather was really perfect for a run, if a bit breezy, but the run just completely and totally STANK from beginning to end. I think I ended up doing just over 2.5 miles in over 30 minutes. That is a horrible time for me! I walked major portions of it and no matter what I just couldn't get in the groove and finally quit the punishment and called it quits to head home with my tail between my legs.
So this week I've managed an excuse every single run day. I can't even remember what the reason on Tuesday was, but Monday was a HORRIBLE, emotional day due to stress with my daughter, so I think I was just spent beyond belief. Thursday I was tired from being at Disneyland the day before and even though sleep-wise I could have done it, physical-wise my body was tired and I really didn't want another bad run. So I can't help but ask myself now, am I finding excuses because I'm scared of having another bad run? Yes, I think I am.
Image Source: http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-4236927-danger-radioactive-sign.php
In all reality, I'm pretty overwhelmed right now and I don't think I am really addressing the fact that I have a lot of turmoil (hmmm...maybe not the best word...upheaval? transition? uncertainty? Any of those could work just as well. LOL) in my life and it is spilling over into everything else. I'm shutting down and we all know that isn't the most appropriate way of handling stress. That definitely isn't the quality way of doing it anyways.
So this is what I need to do:
So this week I've managed an excuse every single run day. I can't even remember what the reason on Tuesday was, but Monday was a HORRIBLE, emotional day due to stress with my daughter, so I think I was just spent beyond belief. Thursday I was tired from being at Disneyland the day before and even though sleep-wise I could have done it, physical-wise my body was tired and I really didn't want another bad run. So I can't help but ask myself now, am I finding excuses because I'm scared of having another bad run? Yes, I think I am.
In all reality, I'm pretty overwhelmed right now and I don't think I am really addressing the fact that I have a lot of turmoil (hmmm...maybe not the best word...upheaval? transition? uncertainty? Any of those could work just as well. LOL) in my life and it is spilling over into everything else. I'm shutting down and we all know that isn't the most appropriate way of handling stress. That definitely isn't the quality way of doing it anyways.
So this is what I need to do:
- Take a good hard look at what is uncertain/causing stress - perhaps write a list of everything that is on my mind (some of these things include: full house, 10k in two weeks, money, work, teaching, family relations between...oh everybody, pending b-day, garden that needs to be planted after I weed the land since it's already been more than 2 weeks since it was prepped, and more!)
- Start planning solutions to those stressors - this includes creating task-lists because those just work for me...I love the satisfaction of getting things crossed off and prioritizing it
- Give myself some scheduled "me" time outside of exercise...this one I have a harder time doing because I take about an hour a day for me (usually when I'm not making excuses) and as a mother/wife/everything else extraordinaire, it's always hard to actually take time for me
- Clarify plans for the 10k...who's camping, when are we leaving, how long are we staying, who's bringing what...in other words, what's the PLAN
- Get the house in order...when my house is clean and uncluttered, my brain is so much less cluttered too!
- Slow down and enjoy my run tomorrow. It may not be great, but I need to just let my mind and body go and enjoy myself. I need a good run and if I push it too hard, it will be everything I don't need it to be. The plan is a virtual 10k and I'm good with that...but it might not (okay, will pretty much NOT be) be at race pace and, you know what? That's OKAY! Really, it is...the actual race isn't until June 4.
What it all boils down to is that I need to not let fear and stress become what decides my life and what my attitude and behavior towards it will be. It's time to grab the horse by the reins and drive it where I need it to go instead of letting it run wild! Because instead of danger signs I need more of this:
Image Source: http://www.azlitho.com/
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