Speaking the Same Language

Last night I had the opportunity to attend my very first book signing for an author/blogger that I just adore - Kelle Hampton of Enjoying the Small Things and author of the memoir, Bloom. My bestie and I both happen to really - no REALLY - appreciate Kelle's blog. We identify with it because here is a woman who speaks our language. She doesn't speak normal "English". She speaks unicorns and Target and women supporting women and candles and fall leaves and letting our freak flags fly whatever they might be. She speaks the language of finding happiness in difficult situations, in sucking the joy out of life, in finding the "glitter" in everything around us. She speaks the language of life is freaking HARD sometimes, but when you have a support system around you anything can be overcome. She speaks the language of love and tolerance. I could seriously go on all day about it...LOL

I haven't had the easiest life, and I haven't had the most difficult life (by FAR!) either. But I've weathered my fair share of storms and even though I can often find the peaceful seas, sometimes the wind rages and the waves rock my little boat something crazy. But I can usually be a pretty happy person. And sometimes, let me just be honest for a moment, I feel like such a FREAK for always being so stinking cheerful - even when sometimes I am broken inside and it is merely a crumbling facade. Seriously, people are always like "you're so happy". You're "always smiling". You're "always positive". I hear it all the time. And I'm so glad that I have that impression on people...really I am. But sometimes it's HARD to carry that burden. The burden of "The Happy One" or "The Positive One" or "The Strong One". Sometimes all you want is to be weak and to crumble, but as woman we pick ourselves up again and again and put on our happy face to the world.

My bestie, Rebecca, she sees the ugly. My husband - sometimes he sees the ugly too. But most of the time the only thing that really sees the ugly is my closet. That's where I usually go when I need to seriously have a breakdown. But let me get back on track here. I am admitting that there are times when I'm not happy or positive. But those times are pretty darn rare. I am definitely an optimist. And sometimes I feel like there aren't many other people in my life that are the same as me. Rebecca is, most definitely. Kelle is, most definitely. But let me tell ya - last night I realized that there are a LOT of other people that speak the same language!

I had shared with Rebecca on our way down to San Diego that I tell people about Kelle's blog all the time...and yes, I feel like a creepy stalker when I do...but I've come to accept it. ;-) But I never really feel like anyone that I tell about her blog says "Man, I SO GET IT". I get what this Kelle chick is talking about. I really FEEL it. In other words, I kind of feel like most people view me as that creepy blog stalker that I am! But we get to the Barnes & Noble and wander in after taking pictures in front of the store by the sign announcing the event (cheeseball!!!!) and kind of start wandering to figure out where the event is. And then all of a sudden we see a LOT of people gathered in an area and I was like "whoa - that's got to be it". It didn't seem real to see a group of 100+ women, men, children and babies all there for the same thing. But it was. So then we are chit-chatting wondering if we traveled further than most to get there when a gal turns around and says that her and her sister traveled about 4 HOURS to attend. I found out after the fact this morning that another group of ladies traveled 8 HOURS to be there. All in all, I would say the group grew to about 200 people at least. We packed that B&N something fierce!

And the funniest thing was that as we were standing there we were picking up conversations from other ladies and they were talking about the same stuff we always talk about! Lots of talk about unicorns and glitter and happiness and the importance of a support network. We were all different people from different backgrounds but yet we were all speaking the same language. And it was wonderful!!! To think that no matter where we are at and what we have gone through in our own lives that there are real and authentic people that have struggled or found joy and are willing to share it so that we all know that we aren't alone in how we struggle and that we aren't alone when we find joy. The overwhelming feeling I left with was that I could have been friends with any of those people in that room.

Finding this kind of supportive and like-minded community is really not a first for me as I am part of an online community through SparkPeople and I have made friends with many of the people on there...I definitely would like to think that many of them will be lifelong friends...We just speak the language of health and triumph over our fat cells there. A different type of language, but one that is important nonetheless. I guess the important thing - AKA "the moral of the story" is that in a world where we are all so different and are spread across the globe, that we can find others that speak our language - that we can be drawn to them like moths to a flame because we finally realize that we aren't alone no matter what we are going through...well, it's a powerful thing. And I definitely had a taste of that power last night and it was pretty darn awesome.

Go forth and Bloom...

New Adventures...

Life has been just like WHOA lately...so much a mix of quiet time and busy time and kid time and grandkids time and personal time...well, you get the idea. It's been like whoa...in a good way.

My newest adventures? Well, they are kind of attached to each other because the first one is that I'm signed up for my third half marathon. I was kind of thinking I was just about ready for one but didn't want a fall 2012 race, and didn't want early 2013 - I was really shooting for March or April of 2013. So when is my race??? January 19, 2013. Okay, yeah - that's a little earlier than I was hoping for, but when an opportunity presents itself, sometimes you just have to go for it. Am I right? Besides, if you registered by midnight on 9/17 you got a free hat! LOL It's all about the swag people, savvy? (Hey, it's national talk like a pirate day so I had to throw something in there!!) Arrrggghhhh

We - me, my mom, and my sister - will be gearing up for the Temecula Valley Half Marathon. It is run through beautiful wine country in the "Napa of Southern California". Yeah, whatever...they make wine and it's local so it should be awesome! ;-)



Here's a picture of the winery of where you start and finish the race. Pretty, right? That's Monte de Oro Winery.

It should be a challenging course as there are some hills in that area, but hills schmills. If I can run a 10k in the mountains every year this should feel like flatlands...hahahaha That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

So there's part one of the adventure. Part two is in the training for this thing! I had decided awhile back that I wanted to do the FIRST Training Program chronicled in the book Run Less, Run Faster. Without boring you with all the details, I will suffice it to say that the training should be extremely "challenging". I think it is going to cause me to push to my outer limits, but in the end I'm hoping to be a faster, lighter, better runner...and one going home with a Half Marathon PR.

Oh, and of course all this will be happening during the quiet holiday months when not much else is going on.

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Should be fun, eh? I'm going to try to chronicle my adventures here as much as possible...call it a sanity check!

Finding Quality...

My blog is called The Pursuit of a Quality Life because I truly do attempt, at the very least, to find quality in the every day. The mundane, the hectic, the good, the bad and the ugly. Quality is what I strive for. It might be messy at times, but like a lot of things, quality is what you make it. There's no definition of what it means for each of us individually.

It's kind of funny, because since 2010 I have selected a word that embodies what I want for the year. Traditionally, this is usually around the Christmas/New Year's holidays. In 2010 my word was Peace; 2011 was Quality (see there it is right there!); and 2012 is Strong. When I selected Quality as my word, I don't think I fully understood it. Peace was a VERY strong word for me and it tested me constantly throughout the entire year, starting off early in February and never letting up. It brought me a lot of tears, but a lot of growth. So I think I was a little gun-shy when I was selecting a word for 2011, and quality seemed to be just the benign type of word I needed. And it kind of stayed that way all year never truly becoming a mantra or a way of life. However, I can look back now and see how it manifested itself, especially when I look at the word I picked for 2012. You can't truly be strong if you don't even understand quality first. Because there are lots of ways to be strong...you could be a strong pile of dog doo-doo, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are going to be a QUALITY pile of dog doo-doo, does it? ;-) Okay, now that some of the background is out of the way, I have to say that the past couple of months have been a journey in quality. I feel like I'm finally finding it...

This past weekend was pure quality from spending awesome time with Joshua - the boy grand baby - reading books and singing softly as he falls asleep...until he lets me know he's nowhere near asleep with a little huuuuunnnnnnhhhhh and then a giggle. Silly boy...

Feeding the ducks that decided they wouldn't bite, and feeding the fish in the lake instead.

Doing a puppet play at my niece's birthday party where we acted out the book "Give a Pig a Party" (I think...) with little wooden spoons and handmade hand puppets with a group of girls that giggled and played along while my sister read (I got to be the pig getting the party!!!! So Fun!!)

Running hill repeats at The Beast. Yeah - I call that quality!

Making a new recipe on both Saturday and Sunday night for dinner.

Enjoying the Sunday night dinner with the hubby by candlelight at our little kitchen table because candlelight makes everything special and magical even if it's just a little Sunday dinner between old married people.

Taking a bubble bath by candlelight while reading a great book.

Cross stitching while snuggled up in my recliner and beams of sunshine filter in to illuminate the task.

Doing laundry...okay, okay - I know I might be pushing it there a bit, but the pile was getting pretty crazy so it was most definitely quality time when I was able to put the last of it away!

There were lots and lots of littler moments in there, but the reality is that it was full of quality...and I loved every second of it!

When the Fun Gets Carried Away...

I will admit it...I'm a little bit bored these days. I don't have anything majorly pressing at the moment so I've allowed myself a little more "chill" time. But I have to also admit - I have gotten completely carried away by it...like a little boat adrift at sea!! And not necessarily in a good way. I can't even tell you how many hours I have lost, let alone today, but all week.

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So what has been eating all my time, you might ask?? PINTEREST!!!

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Yep - I'm like a little Pinterest zombie right now...scroll, repin, like, click, edit board, wash, rinse, repeat again and again and again. It's become ridiculous. And even though I've been getting all kinds of awesome motivation to move and new exercises to tone my abs and remove my arm flab, I've also gotten all kinds of food ideas! Not good...the past two weekends I have baked away...and unfortunately that also means I have eaten the goods. sigh

Today, I finally had to force myself to click the red x in the upper corner because it has slowly become an obsession. I've already resisted the urge to open it back up several times. 

It's just so funny how these things can take off...MySpace, Tumblr, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter. All it takes is a few people to become obsessed and then next thing you know it's a national obsession taking up all our time. And even though it inspires us sometimes, sometimes the inspiration can make us feel somewhat inferior too!

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So I shut it down...for today at least!

How about you - what's your latest obsession?

Changing the Past and Regrets

You always hear the age-old question - if you could change something about your past, what would it be and why. My response has always been that I wouldn't change a single darn thing because everything that has happened to me in life has made me who I am today.

If my Dad had stuck around, I can't even imagine how life might have been different. Would he have been unhappy? Would my Mom be different as a mother if she was also a wife? How might it have changed the relationship with my siblings? 

That's me on the left with my sister, Heather on the right - I still laugh EXACTLY the same way - head thrown back and busting a gut...

Would I have played soccer since it was an activity my Mom encouraged us to do so we wouldn't be sitting at home by ourselves as often while she was a single mom working in the world? 

That's me with my head thrown back and busting a gut...told ya! Some things apparently NEVER change. ;-)

Yes, I think about how things might have been different - like would I have finished high school and gone on to college if I had the influence of a father instead of searching out male affection and getting pregnant as a teen? Perhaps...but then that would have set my life on a completely different course and I can't guarantee that I would be any happier, or that I would be worse off or whatever because the reality is that we don't get to have a It's a Wonderful Life Jimmy Stewart moment where we can see how different situations changed our paths. So my life is what it is because of my life experiences, and it may not always be perfect, but it's a good life. I'm stronger than some because of the struggles I've had. I can empathize more than some with others that have grown under non-conventional situations because I did the same.

BUT the same would not be true if someone asked me the same question in relation to my body. If you said to me right now if there was something about my body that I could change what would it be and why and I would have given you a laundry list of items that would be on there. I could see myself getting carried away...smaller butt! perkier boobs! thinner thighs!

And then reality sets in...wait a second, doesn't my body also reflect everything that has happened to me in my life and has made me who I am today? How is it any different?????

My legs provide me with strength for running and hiking and chasing grandbabies and so much more! If they were thinner perhaps I wouldn't have that strength. My boobs reflect the fact that I've provided sustenance for four babies. My butt...well, I don't know but it must serve some kind of purpose! LOL My stretch marks are tiger stripes earned by carrying those four babies during three pregnancies to full term happy healthy newborns. Without my extra "cushioning" I wouldn't know the thrill of victory of shaping my body into something different. Yes, I was a skinny child and was totally fit and active as a teenager. I could have simply maintained that...but if I had, then I might not have ever become a runner. I might not truly ENJOY working out...it would probably just be something that I "had" to do to keep my figure. I might not have discovered healthier ways of eating that I actually enjoy!

So really, the same holds true...I can't know what might have been, so why change it? My body is a reflection of who I am and who I am shaping myself to be just as my past is a reflection of who I am and who I am shaping myself to be. Time to stop thinking about what I would go back and change if I could and time to focus on being who I am - live life in the NOW and be happy for every challenge and every victory!

Letting the Feet Fly

I headed out this morning for a run after missing the last two that were scheduled, making it a solid week since my last one. My legs and body were itching to run, my feet were begging to fly. Even though the legs were itching and the feet were begging, they definitely weren't trying to make it easy on me! Turns out that my feet, especially along the arches, are super sore from walking on the sand at the beach this weekend; and the legs - well, those are super sore from the lunges and squats that Jillian Michaels inflicted upon them yesterday during the 6-week 6-pack level 1 workout. Ugh.

But with a little of my own begging and pleading, they cooperated and at least shut up enough to let me have moments of bliss while I tucked my shoulder blades back, opened up the lungs, and appreciated the cool touch of air against skin that kept the sweat at bay. It felt glorious, even if it didn't look beautiful!

One of my absolute favorite running companies, Run Pretty Far, which is a small woman-owned company that has been going for just over a year (check them out and you won't be sorry - www.runprettyfar.com) is having a flash giveaway today on their Facebook page and her question was if you had a magic ticket and could go anywhere for a run right now, where would you go. My mind immediately thought ALL of these:

1. Ireland - right along the coast!
2. Oh wait, ITALY! In Rome by the coliseum!
3. Oooh - New York Central Park!
4. A Beach anywhere!

Okay, so there's lots of places I would like to run apparently. :-D Perhaps someday...but until then I can't thank Jenn at Run Pretty Far enough for making me take a moment to think about it! Perhaps I will have to download a little Celtic for my next run and let it take me on a magic carpet ride to green rolling hills. Or some Italian opera, or better yet, the soundtrack for Gladiator, and let it take me to Rome and a time long past. Some show tunes and I'll be in New York; and finally, Jack Johnson can transport anyone to a beach somewhere, anywhere! If I can't do it in real life, a girl can at least pretend!

All I Can Do...

All I can do in this life I've been given is strive to be the best ME possible! I have been doing some thinking lately about my running, primarily, even though there are other aspects of my life that are touched on. I kind of took a month or more off of serious running...well, wait - now that I think about it I think I did recovery following the Tinkerbell Half Marathon back at the end of JANUARY and never really returned to feeling like I had that "fire in my belly" for running. I had a lot of life stress going on and my running became something that was just one more thing that I felt like I had to do...and I didn't need even one more have to do so running kind of took a backseat. That was probably the first time in the almost three years that I've been running that I was getting little to no joy from it. Don't get me wrong, it felt good when I went out and got it done the once every couple of weeks I was doing it, but it didn't feel good getting there...putting on the clothes, the running shoes, the iPhone/iPod, the headphones, the Garmin. It just all felt like WORK. So I kind of took a break from more work.

And then the life stress lessened a little and I realized I needed to get back to a regular workout schedule which includes running 3x a week. But as I have been mentally thinking about where I want to go, the negative thoughts come creeping in. The ones that tell me why bother because I'll never be "fast". I'll never win races. I'll never be one of "those people" that run effortlessly pounding out 5 miles in under an hour 5 days a week all before they head off to work. That will never be me - so...why bother????

Well, because although I will never be the fastest runner, I could be the fastest runner I could possibly be. I still don't know what that threshold is, and it may never be as fast as I was a year ago because as you get older, you naturally slow down. But I don't know yet if it was my max...all I can do is keep trying and see where I end up!

I may never win a race...but I can beat myself in a race! So far I've been able to mostly improve on my time in each consecutive race I've done. That's something tangible! There may be times, like the upcoming Idyllwild 10k on June 2, that I consciously decide that I'm not going for a PR (personal record)...and that's okay too. I don't have to beat myself every time. OR I can just be one of those runners that is still going strong at 80 and by then the competition in my age group should be significantly smaller and I'll win by default! ;-) Hey - a win's a win, right?!?

And who says I can't be one of "those people" banging out 5 miles before work. That is far from an impossibility. Yes, I may have to get up even earlier than I already do...but if it's something I want, there's no reason why I can't attain this.

The reality is that I may never be better than the person next to me, but I can be a better person INSIDE of me! And that's all I can do...and it's enough.